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© 2026 Copyright, Jennifer R. Farmer

The PR Whisperer

Author, Crisis Communications Expert, Strategic Communications Advisor

Category: Blog

Appreciate, But Don’t Deify Bishop Mariann Budde

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I was stunned into silence as I listened to Bishop Mariann E. Budde’s humble appeal for President Donald J. Trump to have mercy on the many people who are in fear over his words and actions. Her voice was soft yet firm. Her gesture, loving, even if it took many by surprise.

The New York Times described the moment like this: “One representation of American Christianity began speaking to another, and the most powerful man in the world was arrested by the words of a silver-haired female bishop in the pulpit. Until he turned away.”

When I think about the bible scripture from Proverbs 27:6, “faithful are the wounds of a friend,” I think of Bishop Budde. So many people will lament over the President’s policy proposals and positions. Few will have an opportunity to directly ask for mercy.

A Courageous Action

It took tremendous courage to make a direct appeal to a powerful man in the world.

As one might imagine, Budde’s genteel remarks were met with outrage. One policymaker suggested that she should be added to the deportation list, while other critics noted she was weaponizing the pulpit against the nation’s commander in chief. Some demanded she apologize.

Rather than question, even for a moment, whether the nation was on the right track, some will castigate Budde as just another DEI hire. Others will quibble over whether her remarks were offered in the right setting or at the right time. Some may even question whether women should preach. None of these things matters to me.

I applaud Bishop Budde. And I hope we will not deify her.

Her actions are precisely the role and responsibility of Christians. We have been commanded in Matthew 22:37-40 to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.”

We Are Enamored When Certain People Speak Up

And yet, in a nation that prioritizes race, it is easy to be enamored when white people do precisely what Black people and other people of color have been doing for generations. This is one of the reasons people like Robin DiAngelo, author of White Fragility, was celebrated for so long. DiAngelo was doing what Black people had been doing for as long as Black people have been in this country. And yet I wonder if Black scholars earned anywhere close to what she earned in a year.

It is easy to deify those who do the right thing. But we must resist it. It is not fair to Bishop Budde, and it is not fair to the people on whose shoulders she stands.

That Bishop Budde’ humble request caught so many by surprise is also a testament to the possibility that perhaps too few white people are consistently speaking truth to power. Maybe too few white women are willing to look power in the face and say it is off course. Doing so comes with risks. It has always been dangerous to question the powerful or to urge the strongman see himself. This is true for all of us, and it is especially true for marginalized communities.

Budde Isn’t the Only One

The truth is that Bishop Budde isn’t the only person to urge political leaders to rethink their actions. There have been tons of faith leaders and civil rights activists who have spoken up and challenged injustice. I think of Ida B. Wells. I think of Fannie Lou Hamer. I think of Shirley Chisholm.

In modern times, I think of the Rev. Lisa Sharon Harper of Freedom Road. I think of the Rev. Dr. Iva Carruthers of the Samuel DeWitt Proctor Conference. There are countless others.

And yet, you won’t see them on The View for the courage they display. They won’t be interviewed by the New York Times, NPR or other mainstream outlets. They won’t be talked about in TIME Magazine. In fact, getting media interest at all for the work they do is an uphill battle.

Challenging perceived injustice should be the norm for all of us, not the exception.

Budde made an urgent and prophetic appeal. Her actions should be viewed as an invitation to others to similarly speak up.

 

Jennifer R. Farmer is an author and founder of Spotlight PR LLC.

Wealth is a Veneer: It Presents a Covering but Doesn’t Reveal What’s Beneath

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The past year has been marred by unbelievable scandals. I never considered him to be a profit but comedian and actor Katt Williams rightly predicted that lies would be exposed in 2024. He was right.

From faith to entertainment to politics and even real estate, some of the wealthiest people we know have been imbued with allegations of wrongdoing. The thread that connects many of the scandals is money and pride. Some of the high-profile figures accused of wrongdoing and caught up in scandals were very wealthy and possibly filled with pride.

Real estate brothers Tal, Oren and Alon Alexander were charged with sex trafficking and sexual assault. They were also very wealthy.

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, once rumored to be a billionaire, has been accused of sexual assault, sex trafficking and other charges. He now sits in a Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, NY.

Robert Morris, former pastor of the Gateway Church, was accused of sexually abusing a child. He stepped down from his ministry as did several elders who are accused of covering up allegations against him.

These individuals are not anomalies. They are representative of a culture that idolizes money. They are also a harbinger of what could happen when one falls into pride.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that money is bad. It isn’t inherently good either. It is merely currency. Yet many in our society want to get more of it.

If you search “wealth” in Google, you are likely to find scores of articles, blogs and video content on how to make money, how to build wealth, and how to safeguard one’s wealth. Entire reality shows are built upon a person or family’s wealth, without consistently showing how they acquired that wealth. There is less content on how to look past wealth and discern a person’s character.

The truth is that wealth can be a veneer. It offers a fancy covering and a way to accentuate what is underneath. It elevates a person’s image, sometimes masking their true character. But too many times we ascribe noble characteristics on people simply because they have wealth. Wealth isn’t an indication of integrity, goodwill or morality. It just means a person has figured out how to market a product or brand.

It’s important to remember that predators who are wealthy may prey on those who aspire to be rich and those in financial lack. They target those who would like lifestyles similar to the rich and famous. For this reason, I wish there was less content online and in popular culture that idolizes wealth and the wealthy.

In 2025, we must be less concerned with a person’s outward presentation and more focused on the contents of their heart.

 

Jennifer R. Farmer is a public relations executive and bakery lover. See her other posts here

Why the PR Team and the Legal Team Must Both Be Included in Crisis Management

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This year has been marred by jaw-dropping scandals and public relations crises. If these crisis situations have taught us anything, is it that the public relations team and the legal team must be in sync.

The legal team is focused on protecting a client’s interests or defending against wrong-doing. The public relations team is focused on managing public perception. When there is a crisis situation, organizations needs both legal and public relations assistance.

However sometimes we see public statements that may cause legal trouble down the line. In other situations, we see actions that may make legal sense but result in souring public opinion. For instance, DayStar Network was recently embroiled in a scandal over, among other things, allegations its president covered up the sexual abuse of her grandchild. The company’s legal team is alleged to have sent threat letters or cease and desist notices to some of YouTubers and at least one journalist. The move emboldened the content creators to continue to cover the crisis. The legal move gave oxygen to a story that its subjects likely wanted to dissipate. 

With high profile cases, it is common for the leadership of a company to close ranks and limit the number of people who know the details of a matter. However, crisis situations are the precise moment when companies need the input of trained strategic communications leaders or public relations professionals.

If anyone is included in crisis communications discussions with the leadership of an organization, it should be senior level public relations leaders as well as the legal team. Both parties are valuable and both perspectives must be included. 

Jennifer R. Farmer is a public relations executive and bakery lover. See her other posts here.

Want to Grow or Protect Your Brand in 2025: Remember These 5 Tips

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Be in private, who you say you are in public.

Your brand is like currency. The stronger your brand, the greater your leverage. The weaker your brand, the more difficulty you’ll face in building relationships, launching new products and closing business deals.

This really isn’t hard to believe. Companies work with influencers and spokespersons who have strong brands. They work with people who aren’t marred by conflict and crisis.

For these reasons and more, everyone should be concerned with their personal and professional brand. In 2025, if you are looking to build or solidify your brand, here are five things you should consider:

  1. The first step in developing a brand is getting clear on who you are and how you want to be known

    Once you have a vision for who you are and how you want to be known, you can make decisions that support your vision.

  2. Your brand is not just what you say, it is what you consistently do.

    The best thing you can do for your brand is to be consistent. It is also to develop a consistent practice of living the way you want to be perceived. If you are a health influencer, develop a consistent practice of making decisions that are good for your physical and mental health.

  3. Be in private who you say you are in public

    A strong brand is fidelity to who you say you are. In other words, close the gap between who you say you are and how you actually show up. If you notice incongruity between who you say you are and what you consistently do, spend time working to address this area.

  4. Identify people who have a strong brand

    Spend time studying those individuals and get clear on what they do, why it resonates with you. Assess their strengths and any identifiable weaknesses. Determine if there is anything that they are doing that you admire.

  5. Don’t confuse having a strong brand with over-saturation

    You do not have to be everywhere at all times. You can have seasons of respite, seasons of research and seasons on private work.

 

Jennifer R. Farmer is a crisis communications expert and founder Spotlight PR LLC. The firm helps clients build their platforms and protect their brands.

I Consider These 5 Things Before I Make Commentary

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The Lens I Use Before Posting Commentary

Over the past year, I’ve really leaned into developing YouTube content. I recently posted a video discussing the crisis involving the DayStar Television Network. The video garnered 15,000 views in 24 hours. It also generated tons of comments.

It is clear that this issue is on the hearts and minds of many. Some people who listened to my commentary expressed displeasure about the situation. Some made comments that seemed to suggest that they thought I didn’t understand what was happening. I wondered if some people expected me to harsher.

Here are five things I consider before posting commentary.

How would the leadership of my church react if they saw my commentary?

. I want who I am in private to be aligned with who I am in public. Similarly, I want the people who I go to church with to believe that I am the same person around them that I am in private. I often ask myself whether how I show up online is consistent with how I show up in person. I never want there to be discord or a disconnect Would how I show up here be in alignment with how I show up in my church community? Am I mirroring the grace and compassion that characterizes the leaders in my church.

I can rest in God’s promise that vengeance belongs to him.

The bible is clear that “God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, he will also reap.” The bible is also clear that God said, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” How God repays is not my business. God is also not asking me to dispense with judgement or to punish others. God doesn’t need my help. As much as I may lament over one issue or another, I take comfort in knowing that God is also fair and loving. He will not allow those who do wickedly to escape judgement.

What is the lesson in this situation for me?

Every situation offers lesson and every relationship is a teacher. When I hear about issues such as what DayStar is experiencing, I ask God what he’s trying to tell me, if anything. I ponder, ‘what is the lesson for me – not Joni Lamb, not Doug Weiss, not Suzy and not Jonathan.’ What does God want me to know and is God asking me to do anything specific.

Am I treating others the way I would want to be treated?

My commentary will be informed by whether I am being fair, honest and loving. When I make a mistake, would I want other people to treat me how treat others? No one is perfect, including me. I fail daily. If my failures were publicized, I would want grace. That is the lens with which I will offer commentary.

Does my behavior honor or displease God?

When the time comes for me to meet my maker, he won’t be concerned about my accomplishments and accolades, other than to consider how I managed what he entrusted to me. Other than that, God will see me for who I am – all my faults, failures and challenges. God will be interested not in what I’ve done for myself, but in what I’ve done for him. As such, I will strive to be careful and measured in any commentary I offer.

I will not always get it right – no human being will. But I will increasingly strive to offer grace-filled, and wise commentary and advice. I never want to be the kind of person who bludgeons people or piles on when they are done. My intention is to inspire readers and listeners of my podcasts to think and reflect on how to be a better person. I also want to give the same grace that I will one day require.

Jennifer R. Farmer, aka The PR Whisperer®, is an author, lecturer and strategic communications expert. Check out our blog posts and subscribe for updates. 

‘The PR Whisperer’ is Now My Registered Trademark!

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I’m excited to announce that I’ve secured a registered trademark for ‘The PR Whisperer®.’ A former consultant, Gail Zuagar, gave me the moniker in 2017. I immediately put it to use, referring to myself as The PR Whisperer® on my website, business cards and in discussions with clients and partners.

Two years later, Paulette Brown, the first Black woman to helm the American Bar Association, recommended I pursue a trademark. She’d seen my business card during a meeting and asked if I had a trademark. Now, all these years later, I finally have one.

The PR Whisperer® channels my desire to persistently engage the media on behalf of clients leading notable and worthwhile work. I hope you’ll celebrate this moment with me and remember Spotlight PR LLC for your public relations needs. You can do so by leaving a positive review on Spotlight PR’s Google Business Page.

Bigger Than Me

Trademarks help communicate who a brand is and what they represent. This ensures consumers know who to trust and what to expect.  They’re also an excellent way to protect one’s legacy, intellectual property and work.

Do You Need a Trademark?

If you have a unique product or offering, you may want to pursue a trademark. Trademarks may prevent others from building off of your name and likeness and confusing customers and supporters. Want to learn more? See this article.

Jennifer R. Farmer is the principal of Spotlight PR LLC.  Check out our blog posts and subscribe for updates. 

 

 

 

 

If It Takes a Whole Village to Raise a Child, Whose Children Are in Your Village?

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Single mother of 5 cries over sons she says are disrespectful.

I saw a single mother of 5 crying on a video noting that her sons were disrespectful and rude. She said they wouldn’t clean, walk the dog or do chores. Between sobs, she said that she wanted to give up, indicating she didn’t know how to raise them to be loving, respectful men. My heart broke for this woman.

Many parents can recount being at their whit’s end. Many will tell you that they too have had moments where they felt like throwing in the towel. Certainly, as emotional as this aggrieved mother was, there are people who will take that video apart and use it as fodder to rail against single mothers. But here’s the thing, there is an African proverb that notes that “it takes a whole village to raise a child.” Parents weren’t meant to do it all. Sure, we carry the lion share of responsibility, but it takes a broad, healthy community, to raise children.

To be honest, I am completely annoyed by the denigration of single parents. I want to share a few basic facts on parenting, single parenting and raising children.

  • Raising children is hard. Whether you are married or single, raising children in this society is difficult. Certainly, when there are two parents in the household, families have the benefit of two incomes, partners who each parent can bounce things off. Ideally that’s the case – although there are married mothers who will say they feel like single moms. The point is, when you are responsible for another life, you are going to have ups and downs.
  • There are a variety of ways a person can come to single parenthood. When we meet people, we do not immediately know the contours of their lives (if they are widowed, divorced, adoptive or foster parents, or survivors of domestic violence or sex trafficking). And even if an adult choses to have a child on their own, it doesn’t mean they deserves ridicule, judgment or scorn. What’s ironic to me is the people who are anti-abortion but hateful towards single parents. How does that work? You can’t be pro-life but then hateful towards women and their children once they’re in the world.
  • Being a single mother doesn’t make a person less than. Although there weren’t many single mothers in the bible, God loves us all regardless of our life circumstance. Think of Hagar who had a child with Abraham at the insistence of Abraham’s wife, Sarah. God loved Hagar and he loved her child. The bible says that the angel of the Lord saw Hagar and heard her son crying and provided a way for them. It is a mistake to think you are diminished in God’s eyes because you parent alone.
  • Single parent doesn’t always mean the other parent is absent. Single parent means unmarried. It doesn’t mean always mean parenting without the support and engagement of the other parent. In situations where a single parent does not have the support of the other parent, the parent who stayed is the parent who is critiqued. This shouldn’t be; the focus should be on how we get all children what they need to thrive, regardless of their parents marital status.
  • Single parents must resist the stigma associated with raising children while uncoupled. The monumental task for single parents is to resist that shame and stigma. It is possible to live a life of peace, joy, and physical and emotional safety. The challenge for people who are so obsessed with the family makeup of others, is to question why they are preoccupied with other people. If you find yourself really troubled by single mothers, sit with why that is; intense dislike and hatred is less about external people and more about a person’s own triggers and wounds.
  • Finally, in the same way that we develop strategies for work, it is help to think about strategies for our lives and household. It is possible to live with peace. It is possible to have joy. It is possible to achieve our goals and help our children achieve their respective mission. There will be seasons of difficulty but they will not last.

Scriptures That Comfort Me

“But God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, ‘Hagar, what’s wrong? Do not be afraid! God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.’” Genesis 21:17

“Notwithstanding, the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear. And I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.” 2 Timothy 4:17

“He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds,” Psalm 147:3

“So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” Genesis 50:1

 

Pride Leads to Ruin, Humility Lifts Us Up

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Do you want to know when a person is likely to make a mistake, or ruin what they have spent their whole life building? It’s when they fall into pride. Pride is being in love with yourself. It is thinking of yourself more highly than you should.

Unfortunately, pride is a prerequisite for failure and humiliation. There is a passage of scripture in the Christian bible that says “pride goes before a fall.” There is yet another passage that warns that God opposes the proud; that means he works against the prideful. Have you ever been in a season where you’re putting so much effort into one project or another only to realize that you’re not making progress. Ask yourself if you’ve been walking in pride.

Now certainly, you can be in a season of testing or a season of waiting where you’ve not done anything wrong – you’re fulfilling your purpose – but you’re a season of waiting or preparation. That’s not what I’m talking about in this article. I’m referring to people who are prideful and the dangers of that condition.

Initially Subtle

What scares me about pride is that it is initially subtle. You can fall into pride and not immediately know it. For example, have you ever witnessed someone who was puffed up with pride and it was apparent to everyone except the person in question? I believe that pride can be intertwined with the spirit of deception. You fundamentally believe that you can get away with anything; that is deception.

And what happens when you’re in pride or living in deception? Your downfall is imminent. I don’t care how much you have accomplished, how well-connected you are, or how much money you may have. Each of us can get it wrong or experience a fall from grace. Want proof? Consider the many political, church or celebrity scandals and you’ll see that persons who are prideful set themselves up for ruin.

Humility is the Antidote for Pride

If this is you, remember the antidote to pride is humility. It having the humility to consult others and to be accountable to others. No one is perfect and everyone can make a mistake. But being accountable to others, and being willing to accept wise counsel will help you avoid or get out of pride.

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  In her spare time, she enjoys visiting volunteering and reviewing bakeries.

Three PR Tips from the Matter Involving John Lindell and Mark Driscoll

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You may have heard about the matter involving John Lindell and Mark Driscoll at the Stronger Men’s Conference. The conference apparently opened with a performance by Alex Magala who took his shirt off, climbed a poll and swallowed a sword. Driscoll was set to speak at the conference. When Driscoll got up to speak, he called out the performance and said that the spirit of Jezebel was in the house. Lindell told Driscoll, Driscoll was out of line. Driscoll was invited to leave the stage, which he did. There is a lot that has happened since that event, including accusations by Lindell that Driscoll tried to divide his church.

My intention is in writing this piece is to give leaders a few tips on preventing a crisis before it happens or averting a media mistake. If you want more substantive information – perhaps you’re navigating your own crisis –you may book a paid consultation at www.spotlightpr.org. In the meantime, here are three reminders to help you prevent a crisis: 

  1. Ignoring a person’s past, if there has not been demonstrated change, is risky.

    Mark Driscoll has faced his own set of professional challenges. His background offers context for how we might view what he says and how he presents himself. I don’t believe that people should be tethered to their past, but it’s unwise to completely ignore their past. When I heard Driscoll’s comments about the spirit of Jezebel, I viewed those comments in the context of what I’ve heard about Driscoll. While I thought the performance was unacceptable for a Christian setting, it didn’t resonate as anything close to the spirit of Jezebel. I simply think the purpose of church and Christian gatherings is to develop disciples and teach the bible.

  2. The best way to manage a crisis is to prevent it before it unfolds

    . I would be surprised if James River Church didn’t anticipate Magala’s performance would cause a stir. In this instance, the organizers of this event could have prevented the current crisis had they not invited Magala or provided framing around why he was there and the message the audience should take from his performance. And if no one flagged the potential fallout around Magala’s performance, one has to question why. Having a man take off his shirt in a Christian setting was always going to create challenges from an optics perspective. If this were an event about men’s fitness, it would not have raised the same kinds of questions. But whenever you have people of faith assembled, there is a different expectation, and a higher level of responsibility.

  3. When planning events, start with the end in mind.

    What do you want to happen? How do you want people to think and feel? What do you want the headlines to be after the event? Getting clear about those things that will help you make decisions around everything from which speakers to invite, to what items to include on the program. 

In this article, I discussed John Lindell and Mark Driscoll, but this situation is really an invitation for us all. I get it. Whenever there is a scandal, it is easy to focus on the players in that situation. However, it’s a lot more helpful if we focus on ourselves. Where are we vulnerable? Is there anything we can learn? There are certain people whose lives play out on a large stage, but that does not mean that they are the only ones facing crises or challenges.

 

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  In her spare time, she enjoys visiting volunteering and reviewing bakeries.

3 Tips for Making Good Decisions When in A Crisis

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A loved one called me recently and expressed upset with a decision I made. The person subtly told me why I should change my mind and used religion to make their point. My initial reaction was anger as I felt the person was using religion to manipulate me. As I discussed the situation with my coach, she reminded me of a very important filter that should be used to evaluate advice, especially when the stakes are high.

My coach encouraged me to consider whether the advice benefited the person who shared it? This was a question I hadn’t considered. I was caught up in emotion and focused solely on the words spoken and not on the reason the person was communicating the message in question. In this situation, the advice did in fact benefit the person who engaged me because it supported their comfort at the expense of my discomfort.

My coach then advised me to be careful of accepting advise from people who have something to gain from the advice they give. To be clear, “gain” could be as simple as you behaving in a way that makes the other person comfortable. Gain could also mean financial gain or a boost in status. ‘If a person wants you to do something that will enrich them in any way, you have to filter what they say,’ she said. This advice is sound and it is particularly useful when you are in a crisis situation and receiving input from many sources.

As you reflect on this insight, here are three other things you may want to consider when navigating a crisis:

  1. Are you being motivated by fear?

    When we are afraid, our nervous systems are activated and it becomes harder to make rational decisions. If you are led by fear, you will also feel compelled to act quickly or you may fail to assess all the choices before you. I heard a financial guru say that when people get scared, they get stupid and I couldn’t agree more. If the advice is intended to make you afraid, or if the situation triggers fear, tread carefully. Try to unpack why you are afraid and assess what will happen if your worst-case scenarios manifest, and more importantly, how’ll you’ll pivot and respond.

  2. Will the advice benefit your current and future self?

    There are things that feel good in the moment but will harm your future self. When evaluating feedback, maintain a long-range view of where you’re going and more importantly, how you’ll get there. All advice should be filtered from the lens of ‘will this help me in the long run?’

  3. Are you being encouraged to act quickly?

    If you are being encouraged or rushed to make a snap decision, be careful. You should have time to process all advice, and think about where you want to go and why. You should have time to consult your team. You should have time to sit with a decision. Very few things need to be decided in an hour or two, let alone a day or two. Slow the process in order to play out different scenarios and discern what to do.

Why is this important? Your reputation is like currency; you must manage it wisely. Your peace is invaluable. You must safeguard it. You may not always get a do-over, and that is why it is essential to strive to make good decisions today and always.

—

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  In her spare time, she enjoys visiting volunteering and reviewing bakeries.

 

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