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© 2025 Copyright, Jennifer R. Farmer

The PR Whisperer

Author, Crisis Communications Expert, Strategic Communications Advisor

Tag: media relations

Pride Leads to Ruin, Humility Lifts Us Up

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Do you want to know when a person is likely to make a mistake, or ruin what they have spent their whole life building? It’s when they fall into pride. Pride is being in love with yourself. It is thinking of yourself more highly than you should.

Unfortunately, pride is a prerequisite for failure and humiliation. There is a passage of scripture in the Christian bible that says “pride goes before a fall.” There is yet another passage that warns that God opposes the proud; that means he works against the prideful. Have you ever been in a season where you’re putting so much effort into one project or another only to realize that you’re not making progress. Ask yourself if you’ve been walking in pride.

Now certainly, you can be in a season of testing or a season of waiting where you’ve not done anything wrong – you’re fulfilling your purpose – but you’re a season of waiting or preparation. That’s not what I’m talking about in this article. I’m referring to people who are prideful and the dangers of that condition.

Initially Subtle

What scares me about pride is that it is initially subtle. You can fall into pride and not immediately know it. For example, have you ever witnessed someone who was puffed up with pride and it was apparent to everyone except the person in question? I believe that pride can be intertwined with the spirit of deception. You fundamentally believe that you can get away with anything; that is deception.

And what happens when you’re in pride or living in deception? Your downfall is imminent. I don’t care how much you have accomplished, how well-connected you are, or how much money you may have. Each of us can get it wrong or experience a fall from grace. Want proof? Consider the many political, church or celebrity scandals and you’ll see that persons who are prideful set themselves up for ruin.

Humility is the Antidote for Pride

If this is you, remember the antidote to pride is humility. It having the humility to consult others and to be accountable to others. No one is perfect and everyone can make a mistake. But being accountable to others, and being willing to accept wise counsel will help you avoid or get out of pride.

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  In her spare time, she enjoys visiting volunteering and reviewing bakeries.

3 Tips for Making Good Decisions When in A Crisis

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A loved one called me recently and expressed upset with a decision I made. The person subtly told me why I should change my mind and used religion to make their point. My initial reaction was anger as I felt the person was using religion to manipulate me. As I discussed the situation with my coach, she reminded me of a very important filter that should be used to evaluate advice, especially when the stakes are high.

My coach encouraged me to consider whether the advice benefited the person who shared it? This was a question I hadn’t considered. I was caught up in emotion and focused solely on the words spoken and not on the reason the person was communicating the message in question. In this situation, the advice did in fact benefit the person who engaged me because it supported their comfort at the expense of my discomfort.

My coach then advised me to be careful of accepting advise from people who have something to gain from the advice they give. To be clear, “gain” could be as simple as you behaving in a way that makes the other person comfortable. Gain could also mean financial gain or a boost in status. ‘If a person wants you to do something that will enrich them in any way, you have to filter what they say,’ she said. This advice is sound and it is particularly useful when you are in a crisis situation and receiving input from many sources.

As you reflect on this insight, here are three other things you may want to consider when navigating a crisis:

  1. Are you being motivated by fear?

    When we are afraid, our nervous systems are activated and it becomes harder to make rational decisions. If you are led by fear, you will also feel compelled to act quickly or you may fail to assess all the choices before you. I heard a financial guru say that when people get scared, they get stupid and I couldn’t agree more. If the advice is intended to make you afraid, or if the situation triggers fear, tread carefully. Try to unpack why you are afraid and assess what will happen if your worst-case scenarios manifest, and more importantly, how’ll you’ll pivot and respond.

  2. Will the advice benefit your current and future self?

    There are things that feel good in the moment but will harm your future self. When evaluating feedback, maintain a long-range view of where you’re going and more importantly, how you’ll get there. All advice should be filtered from the lens of ‘will this help me in the long run?’

  3. Are you being encouraged to act quickly?

    If you are being encouraged or rushed to make a snap decision, be careful. You should have time to process all advice, and think about where you want to go and why. You should have time to consult your team. You should have time to sit with a decision. Very few things need to be decided in an hour or two, let alone a day or two. Slow the process in order to play out different scenarios and discern what to do.

Why is this important? Your reputation is like currency; you must manage it wisely. Your peace is invaluable. You must safeguard it. You may not always get a do-over, and that is why it is essential to strive to make good decisions today and always.

—

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  In her spare time, she enjoys visiting volunteering and reviewing bakeries.

 

Avoid These Three Common PR Mistakes

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By Jennifer R. Farmer

If you are a public figure, you are likely to grant media interviews and respond to media inquiries. To boost your success and ensure a strong brand, avoid these common PR mistakes.

1. Getting Too Comfortable in Public Appearances or Media Interviews

One of the most common PR mistakes occurs when a leader gets too comfortable. When leaders no longer approach interviews or public appearances with the level of intentionality and care that they deserve, they are bound to make a mistake. This can happen when a person has extensive experience giving media interviews or public appearances, and therefore doesn’t believe they need to prepare. This can happen when a person knows a lot about the topic they are discussing; they can become over-reliant on their knowledge and fail to be diligent in preparation. When leaders get too comfortable, they may let their guard down, or be more playful than the current moment demands. When a leader gets too comfortable, they may say things that ordinarily they would not say. The antidote is to approach each interview or public event with precision and careful preparation. 

2. Going Off Script/Getting Off Message

You’ve seen this happen. A leader gets up to make a speech and before they get into the meat of their remarks, they may say, “I’m not going to use my written remarks,” or, “I’m going to go off script.” The crowd may get excited, believing that they are going to get an authentic version of the person before them. However, public relations staff, campaign managers and political consultants get scared because they know going off script is a recipe for disaster. When you give a speech, you’ve likely spent time thinking about what you want and need to say. When you plan your speech, you have likely do so from a place of calm. This allows the leader to think carefully about the main messages that must be conveyed. But when you scrap your remarks and “speak from the heart,” you could be moved by emotion and that’s not always a good thing. If the crowd is fired up, you may similarly get fired up and say something that may feel good in the moment, but will haunt you afterwards.

3. Speaking for Too Long

While it may be to an interviewer’s advantage to record a long interview with you, it is not always in a leader’s best interest to accept lengthy media interviews. Similarly, when you are giving public remarks, be mindful that you do not speak for too long. If you are giving a keynote speech, you may have a longer speech. But if you are solely offering remarks, keep those remarks tight and too the point. In an effort to take up space, some leaders will speak entirely too long. And in the multitude of words, there is always a chance that you may say something you should not say. If you can keep your remarks to 10-15 minutes, or 30 minutes in a key note, you stand a better chance of delivering focused and tight remarks.

For more tips, see this video on other PR mistakes.

Jennifer R. Farmer, known as The PR Whisperer, is a crisis communications expert, podcast host, and small business owner.  When she is not working, she enjoys visiting and reviewing bakeries.

Four Questions Communicators Should Ask at the End of the Year

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What are you asking yourself to inform how you operate next year?

By Jennifer R. Farmer

I love to hear people say, ‘you’re not asking the right questions.’ There is an art in learning to ask the right questions, and asking the right questions will help you develop an appropriate course of action. We cannot always get what we need and want if we do not ask the right questions.

To that end, I am trying to develop a practice of getting curious and of asking the right questions. And the end of the year is a perfect time to reflect on the prior year and what I want for the next. Here are four questions I think all communicators should ask, particularly at the end of the year.

  1. What is working? The end of the year is a good time to assess what strategic communications tools worked that year and which ones did not. In many offices, things tend to slow down towards the end of the year, and this lull can be great for reflecting. There are things that I routinely do, that I realized this year, are not worth the time. I am committing to making changes in 2024 and beyond. Have you thought about what has worked and what you may want to change?
  2. What is working now but may not work in the future? In the ever-changing media landscape, I am clear that some of the things we do today to generate media may not work in the future. For instance, the emergence of AI will change how we pitch, how we contact reporters, and how we land stories. I imagine that some of the software that public relations professionals use to gather information will become more intuitive; we’re not just talking about helping you generate the right headline, but also helping you identify which reporters are most likely to cover your story. What are you doing to prepare for the changes that AI has wrought?
  3. What is my plan to grow my email and SMS list? Over time, brands will continue to develop their own content platforms. This continues to be an effective way of distributing a message, and getting your audience to take action. The end of the year and the beginning of a new year, when communications professionals are writing strategic communications plans, is a good time to assess the growth in your email and SMS lists. What steps are you taking to grow these lists?
  4. Was my budget sufficient to meet prior and anticipated needs? The end of the year is a good time to assess whether you budget was sufficient and whether it was effectively allocated. For instance, was there funding for sponsoring events and workshops? Was there funding for social media advertising? Was there funding for speakers should you decide to convene more in person events? Was there funding for professional development? Where there conferences that you wanted to invest in last year but were restrained due to your budget. Your budget determines your engagement so carefully think about where you want to engage and the cost for doing so. Thinking through this periodically throughout the year and certainly at the end of the year will set you up for success in the year to come.
  5. Who did I build relationships with and who do I still need to connect with? I remind myself all the time that there are people who would cover the work I care about if I and my clients have the relationships with them. Building relationships with reporters is not just a good idea, it is a necessary idea. At the end of the year, I tend to assess who I want to know and work with the following year. From there, I think through strategies to engage such people. I also ask my network who they know that I should know and vice versa.

If you use the end of the year to reflect on the prior year, what questions do you ask of yourself and/or your team? Also, in what other end of year planning are you engaged?

Four Signs Your Media Interview Has Gone Off the Rails

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What You Should Do When The Interview is Not Going As You Had Hoped

If you utilize traditional media to amplify your brand or campaign, you must know how to salvage a media interview when it has gone south. And listen, just because you have years of experience working with reporters doesn’t mean that a refresher from time to time isn’t warranted. When you speak or meet with reporters you have an opportunity to not only generate a story but build a relationship. It is important to be prepared for all that could occur in these high stakes interactions.

In the spirit of helping you prepare, here are four signs your media interview has taken a turn for the worst and how you can salvage it.

  1. The reporter stops writing or typing. If you are engaged in a media interview and the reporter stops typing as you’re talking or stops writing on their notepad (in the event this is an in-person conversation), please note that the conversation is not going well and it’s very likely the reporter has checked out of the interview. If this happens, ask the reporter if you are answering their questions, and whether they would like other examples. Do not ignore this sign. You cannot be included in a story if reporters do not record your comments and perspective.
  2. The reporter abruptly asks you for recommendations for other groups they should speak with. If you are in a media interview and midway through, the reporter asks for other people they should speak with, please note that you may have hit a snag. A journalist asking you – a source – for other sources could mean that you are not giving them what they need, and they’d prefer to speak with someone else. If their asking for other sources is coupled with other signs of disengagement, this is a sign that you need to try to re-engage the reporter. Alternatively, if you’ve spent considerable time with the journalist and they are engaged throughout the discussion, a request for other sources could be harmless.
  3. The reporter stops asking you questions. If a reporter stops asking questions during a conversation, and you sense they checking out of the conversation, you may want to follow-up with a detailed email reiterating the points you made in the discussion. You’ll want to include links for articles, reports and briefs that underscore your point. You can also ask the reporter directly whether there was something else they were looking to hear and how else you can support them in their research for their story.
  4. The reporter is visibly or audibly frustrated. Reporters are human beings capable of getting frustrated like anyone else. Some of the reasons that a reporter may get frustrated in an interview is if a source is not answering questions directly, evading questions, playing coy, or talking over them. They may also become annoyed if they sense a source is using talking points versus communicating with depth and substance. All these things may draw the journalist’s ire. If a reporter is visibly frustrated – as in they are raising their voice, rolling their eyes, or backing away from a table where you all are sitting – note that their patience is waning, and you need to pivot.

Remember that everything you say to a reporter can affect your story. In the words of media trainer Sally Stewart, “give yourself every advantage to make a good impression.” Come to the discussion prepared to tell the reporter something they do not know and be sure to have data and examples to underscore your point. Importantly, apply emotional intelligence to your engagement with reporters and pivot if you see the conversation going off the rails.

And if you are not receiving media requests, be sure to see this video.

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